Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Dick very happy bro
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
