just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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