I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize