what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
