I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
