I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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