Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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