maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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