I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
