Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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