One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
