get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
