she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
