I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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