i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
