You can't motorboat a personality
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize