you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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