piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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