You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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