Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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