bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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