Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
