I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
