Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I think I am morally bankrupt
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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