dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize