gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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