I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
