just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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