making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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