sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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