so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
