I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Found the puke drawer
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
