I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
