I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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