She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize