please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
