can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
