"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
