Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I think i got beer on your cat.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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