NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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