***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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