She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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Spinning.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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