I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
