Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
