we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
