I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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