And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize