are you still at the devil's house?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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