the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
The best revenge is premature balding
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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