we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You surviving the open bar?
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Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk