OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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