Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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