Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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