If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
