He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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