and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Fuck appropriateness.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
