She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
