Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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