I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
