You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
