First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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