She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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