i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
