i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize